alhamdulillah, insyaallah tomorrow i'll be continuing my life as a muslim, in this upcoming ramadhan. ramadhan, the month that muslims fast and the month where the devils are believed to be tied up so that the humans will not be disturbed to perform ibadah. alhamdulillah, i'm 22 and i have the strength to perform this one ibadah that comes once in a year. some people my age still have difficulties to fast, and some of them also had lost the nikmat to fast due to illness and what not. thank you Alllah.
everytime ramadhan comes, i'll always look back to my previous ramadhan, just so that i can correct myself, so that the upcoming ramadhan will be better in many sense, insyaallah :) i am not perfect, sometimes i forget. sometimes i'm too driven by things, by feelings. for that, i always seek forgiveness and i seek strength to overcome those feelings. its funny how things evolve too quickly. but i also can't forget the days when i started fasting- that was back when i was in standard 1. yeap, i started early, that was because my parents would always offer some incentives, to teach us(my brother and i) to fast. and back then, my brother and i would always compete to get the most amount of incentives ;) that actually motivated us to fast, of course at that time i was not able to complete all 30 days, but that prepared me for the ramadhans after that. and the next year, it became more motivating, as my younger sis also joined us for puasa :)
i remembered all of us started to fast for the whole ramadhan when i was 9 years old. yeap, at that time i can only sabar and make myself busy to avoid thinking about food, and during the recess time, i was so happy when teachers praised me for fasting, unlike my friends back then. i can still remember how i eyed a friend's roti kaya because i was too hungry, but when a teacher came to me and praised me for being so strong, my crave for food shut down that instant ;) see, the power of compliments.
as i grow older, i automatically understand that fasting during ramadhan should not be because of the rewards that others will give me, but the rewards that Allah will give me and my family. and i'm the type of person that will do anything for my loved ones, so when an ustazah told me that my family will get pahala as well, that motivated me to fast :) and i started to understand the responsibility to fast when i *ehem. get my periods. no money involved since then- except for baju raya and stuffs la hehe :)
but really, fasting is related to what we have in our minds. that you won't feel hungry, that you want to upgrade your ibadahs, that you would try so hard to avoid from kurangkan pahala puasa, that you won't eat eccessively when you break fast. i mean, as we grow a year older, fasting during ramadhan should be something that you're immune to, that you can handle just like that *petik jari. and insyaallah, to those who still have difficulties to fast, this is the time to actually challenge your minds. and mind you, we are not getting younger, and life can't be so long nowadays. so, try to make the best out of this ramadhan alright? i myself hope and pray that this ramadhan will be better than last year, in many sense.
have a blessed ramadhan everyone! :)
*this will be the ramadhan that imran and i won't spend together, close. no sahur together, no berbuka together. we skyped yesterday night, and reminisced our last ramadhan together, and decided takpelah, kurang sikit dosa insyaallah. itu buat saya lebih sayang, tahu tak? <3
p/s: we make sins everyday. no doubt on that. so why not benefit this ramadhan to tebus balik our sins? insyaallah.
yours truly,
yasmin
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